Bleeding Hearts And Bleeding Breast: An Epic Halloween Experience

   My Halloween weekend started with a strap on 101 class at the pleasure chest. That only helped me realize how badly I want a spare parts harness and someone to use it on. I met epic at his place after running around collecting my costumes and tutu's and whatever else I felt I needed to get through the weekend. We bounced around from one party to the next. I had personal one on one time with him my first night out. We went to a party full of people I didn't know (which is rare, I can normally recognize a face or two).  I wore a red tutu under the Lolita skirt I bought at comic-con this year, with striped stockings and high heels. I didn't look half bad if I do say so myself. And trooping around in six-inch high heels across the cracked and dismayed streets of Manhattan I think deserves a sticker or two. The building was guarded and there was this unusual security thing we had to go through just to get into the elevator. We wasted no time once we got there. He pulled out the weighted gloves and we did a little impact play. I was never one for punching but it's something new I'm experimenting with. My favorite moments before play are the seconds before, when we aren't friends. He isn't Himself nor am I. he is the Top and I’m the bottom. He gives blows and I take them. I can see that change, just seconds before those gloves hit my inner thighs, arms and waistline.

Hanging off the side of someone else leather couch I realized that rammstein was playing.  His weighted gloves were cold against my skin making his way up my torso and chest. With a quick slapped to the face I am dazed. We went on like this back and forth throwing punches and sucking face for at least an hour or two. I played with our fellow Dom Friend who has this air of sexy Dom-ness I like to observe and not necessarily interact with.  I had my first single tail experience which was better then anything I expected. I have this cartoonish idea of what being whipped felt like.  You see this 4-5 foot long serpent like instrument, normally used to horde Cattle and beat the unwilling in to submission. And in the kinky world it’s known primarily for hurting like a bitch and breaking skin. If you asked me I was rightfully scared but if you've got the right dominate behind the whip you should be fine? And I was, surprisingly. I enjoyed it or as sexy Dom friend put it " I fucked all your shit up!"

 We left the party and Overdosed on bacon at some diner on Lexington. I sat parallel to Sexy Dom’s submissive and we laughed about things that didn't make any sense. We were both intoxicated from play and when you're flying in subspace everything that seems remotely interesting is the funniest thing you'll ever hear. 

The next day we went to paddles  [NYC's oldest dungeon] I wore my snow white out fit (hair ribbon included, but I lost it.) I pranced around collecting free collars and watching my friends get spankings from their Dominate partners. I sat there in my dress watching all the kinky couples and floaters interact with each other. When I have too much time to myself my mind wonders off and I’m caught thinking about all the things I spend so much time running from. 

I wish I had a Dominate to touch me like that

I wish I didn't have to ask to be kissed

I wish I didn't hate Misant so much right now I’d call him

I wish I bought flats with me

I shot up out of my chair and walked off for the millionth time, surveying my surroundings when I ran into this tiny little man. He had a beard and hat on. He hit on me, bought me a bottle of water and asks if I wanted to go to Vegas.  I politely declined but we struck up a conversation anyway.  He was weird and friendly. I took his number and I’m undecided if I actually want to call him. I attract the strangest strangers. 

Epic myself and his submissive [The Midge] spent the rest of the week sexing each other up and streaming videos on his ruko box. I was having such a good time I didn't think anything could possible go wrong. 

And then it did... 

First I should start off my introducing this new character. We'll call H.I Lovecraft. Why? Well, he's in to all things scary and spooky, with a dire love for death metal and gothic makeup. Sense we've gotten to know each other he delights me and frightens me. Much like a H.P novel don't you think?  He's my mentor and currently my protector and maybe something more one day but that's neither here nor there.  I went out to our last play party of the week, dressed in the snow white outfit I vowed to get tons of mileage in. earlier that day I messaged H.I to tell him I ran into a little trouble at a play party I attended [a post all of it's own, I promise]. He responded with a flat answer that sent me tail spinning. I didn't know what I expected. He doesn't seem like the ballistic type. I didn't think he would be filled with fury or he would cry about it. But the flat nonchalant response I did get, didn't really make any sense to me. I tried to leave it alone but me being exactly who I am I couldn't.  In response to me inquiring if there was a problem I got this message: 

 I will call you and talk to you when I am ready to, but thank you for your permission. If something is or was wrong I would have told you. So I just said “ me and you are gonna have to have a talk [insert my name here]’

That’s it

It could be about anything so no need in over thinking it or trying to think for me. So I will speak to you when I speak to you. 

Little does H.I Lovecraft know, I am the reigning Champaign of over thinking and I was thinking hard! What could I have done wrong in a little less then 24 hours to piss him off? I proceeded to Pout with vigor. I pouted all the way to the two train, I pouted on the two train and I pouted all the way to the party. I collected myself in the bathroom. I tried to get over it but there was just something in the back of my mind eating away at all the potential things that could be going on. All the things he might have been thinking and not telling me. I didn't want to place this burden on my friends so I strapped on a smile and went about my marry way... well, at least for a little while. We all stepped out for a smoke, I wasn't the only one with problems that night and after attending three parties in three days we were all pretty tired. I couldn't help but dwell on the problem I was trying and failing at concealing and the midge noticed. After that I fell apart, I couldn't stop crying no matter how badly I tried. On one hand I felt terrible, not only was I now putting my relationship problems on the last two people I would ever want to do that to but now I’m that nameless girl in the slutty costume crying too close to the curb at 12 am. And in any city; that site is all too familiar. I sat there covering my eyes, hoping it was too dark to see the tears streaming down my face. I thought to myself ' At least I’m not drunk'.

And there it is, the second hand. The upside to all of this ... 

We paid the 30-dollar fee, for the private party we spent very little time at. We packed our things and went home but god did we make the most of it. We carried on the theme of the weekend, which was sex and beacon. We order sandwiches (I order chicken parm with beacon) followed by a bag of onion rings and a box of mini black and white cookies and we ate ourselves stupid. It was the first time I had ever seen the south parks imagination Trilogy. We all sat on the futon together Pj's on. The midge and me screamed every time the cartoon terrorist killed a care bear and Epic laughed while we screamed because he's a sadistic bastard like that. I fell a sleep soundly, thinking about how amazing my friends are and I didn't bother to think once about what H.I Lovecraft was up to. 

The next day was the parade, and in New York the Halloween parade like St. patties and thanksgiving it’s another great excuse to take off work if you can. I was exhausted and water logged from the night before and I didn't want to go. Again Epic and the midge sacrificed a night out for staying in with me. They invited over a friend for some friendly play on Halloween day.

 [Said friend I’ll being referring to as BBBM Big. Burly. Black Man]

 BBBM and I have a little bit of history. Our history consist of me popping up every once and a while at local events and meetings and him not noticing me for any reason what so ever, even though he is friends with both epic and the midge.  Where they go I’m not far behind so it wasn't like we never met.  It didn't bother me when I noticed him but he didn't notice me. Okay that's a lie; it annoyed me that I’ve had to reintroduce myself every time we've met. I knew who he was every time but he had no idea I existed. Until recently that is. We hit it off at comic-con this year; at first I didn't want anything to do with him after remembering he had a white submissives preference (at least one of those attributes I am lacking) and a girlfriend to boot. But getting to know him more and finding out his relationship was "open". I stopped worrying about the past and focused on getting laid for the fifth connective day.  BBBM excites me, not him so much as his body. He is such a big guy and that physique (pot belly or not) for me; it's a panty dropper. I like a man I feel that I can scale if I wanted to.  Up his back and down his chest if he let me. If I feel at any point in time that I can take you in a fight, I’m probably not going to want to sleep with you. The logic is silly I know but it's always been that way; at least for me. His presence is big, his voice is bigger and I’ve been toying with the idea of having him inside of me. It helps that we have a mess of things in common and I like sitting next to him, lying in his lap and playing with is fingers. He makes me feel little. Not in the sense that I’m insecure in his presence but the exact opposite. I'm wide-eyed and wonderest.

 BBBM is good with rope; good is a smidge of an understatement actually. I’m not much of a rope slut but I enjoy watching a Top work. He tied my breast up in cupcakes (which seems to be a favorite among those who do play with me, I don't know why that is) and my wrist, pressed together firmly behind my back, he tied those too. I sat there for a while all tided up watching South Park the imagination trilogy for the third night in a row. This time there was a caught: 

If you scream when they kill the care bears I’m going to punch you.

I didn't know what to think? Punch me ...they're care bears for Christ sakes, the epitome of my childhood and the south park writers where killing them off one fluffy rainbow at a time! I tired to control the urge to scream. I never played with BBBM before and sense there was no talk of limits, protocol or safe words and with what little I do know about him, he is apparently sadistic with a capital S so I didn't bother trying to fathom where exactly he was going to punch me. But sure enough I screamed and my already bruised boobies caught one right in the center and another one in the arm. 

There were two care bears... 

I had already taken the risk early in the week playing with someone I didn't know. I was scared to play with BBBM but once we got started I tried to settle in to a grove with him. He tossed me down and worked the undersides of my breast with a metal skewer. Looking up at him, I watched as he methodically created bruises I couldn't see. And the added commentary didn't help at all. 

The left isn't bruising as fast as the right.

Oh! This one is purple that's nice; you've got nice colors on this one.

I had taken my fair share of beatings over the past 5 days but the one handed down by BBBM was the most intense. Between the biting and the punching the skewer poking and the caning. Having my breast tided together, thrown around with duct tape around my mouth. Having my ass and legs set on fire while having to sit through the barely audible sound of care bears dying in the background; I was bound to reach my breaking point. I must have yelped Poughkeepsie a dozen times in 10 minutes. 

BBBM looked at me cockeyed; Poughkeepsie?  Yes, my safe-word is Poughkeepsie and there is no way you could possibly mistake Poughkeepsie as something sexy. It's weird and it's always out of context. I didn't have to tell him it was a safe-word he was so bewildered by it he stopped immediately. With in a few minutes we were at it again. I thought I could withstand another round or two but he mounted me to my surprise, slapping my chest from left to right, and I broke; choking on my own tears I could barely get a Poughkeepsie out. He assured me that I was okay and what I was feeling was a rush of adrenaline. I was gasping and hyperventilating and one does not compliment the other.  He couched me I started breathing in threw my nose and out of mouth. I looked up at him being the sadistic fuck he is I caught him smiling. 

I must have looked like a nervous wreck to everyone in the room but while me and BBBM had our play the midge and Epic had theirs. I was jealous, sense Epic is pretty generous and lets the midge come, but I wasn't so lucky. I wanted the wand to play with. It was late and I needed to sleep, but after such an intense first play session with BBBM I wanted it more then anything else. But unfortunately for me when epic and BBBM are in the same room, the song anything you can do I can do better comes to mind. I knew I wasn't going to come anytime soon but I held out hope. Now that the midge was asleep and I was the last standing submissive in the room I was double-teamed. 

Neither one of them wanted me to have the wand! They played and toyed with my feeling. Shouting banter at one another when an ultimatum made it's way into the conversation.

If you were willing to give me an enthusiastic blowjob, I might let you come.

Now this doesn't sound like a hard thing to do but again being that I am who I am I had to over think it. What if he doesn't like it? I thought, and then I’m fucked. I debated with BBBM, I told him I didn't know if my skills were up to par; sense I honestly haven't done an enthusiastic anything sense 2008. So who knows what my skills were like now?  We went on like this for a while but I thought about the worst out come which would have been me sneaking off while everyone one was a sleep and wanking off in the bathroom. So I got down and unbuttoned his slacks.  I was scared but I just put it into the back of my mind. I wasn't sure if it would be all right. BBBM is very quite so I had little to no cues on what he liked and what he didn't like. It felt good to have him in my mouth. He felt different from the others before him and I enjoyed the sensation of a brand new experience. When I came up he patted me on the head and told me I did good which felt even better then knowing I was about to get what I wanted. But is it ever that simple? No! BBBM grabbed me by the leg and slid me over back to him because I started to crawl away. He picked up the wand and I was so excited I thought I was going to have an embolism. He kept turning it on and off on and off pushing it deeper and deeper into my pelvis I was so close to what felt like a thousand cock blocks but he succumbed to my begging and pleading, and I haven't begged for anything sense my days with Tim. He placed his hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds I made but I could have woken up a small country. I curdled up under him for a while. He generates heat like he's plugged into the wall, because I’m anemic being a human heater is a prized quality in a lover for me. I told him I had homework to-do before sleeping, though I was good a ready to hit the pillow at this point.

 Playing into the little in me before leaving he told me I had better get my homework done or something to that effect. We've been texting a little here and there, and I’m planning on making a few play partners this winter. So far I’ve met some great people and I’ve actually left my house to do other things besides sleep, slack and occasionally homework.  I still haven't heard from H.I Lovecraft. It’s been six days today and I’m still really confused as to what the issue is, if there is one at all.  I’m trying not to think about it so much. So far I’m failing terribly but I hope he contacts me soon so I can relax. I had a fantastic time this weekend minus the few bumps along the way. I can only hope it's this good next year. 

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!